As ornaments are to women; Intoxication has been the weakness of males; it has been there for millenniums and will be there as long as human beings will be living here on the face of the earth. People have improvised many techniques to get intoxicated like smoking tobacco, hash, eating opium, drinking all sorts of liquors like beer, wine brandy whisky etc. Among all them; Kallu or toddy (pronounced as cull) is perhaps the most difficult thing to be produced; but with a glassful inside the pain of producing or paying for it vanishes; that is magic with toddy or palm-wine! It is white in color sweet in taste and act slow; with enduring impact.

A toddy tapper

Toddy is called that even the Gandharvas (demigods who visited earth at random) quenched their thirst with this holy brew. Those who tap it are called toddy tappers. They are healthy and generally hard-working as only such people can perform this hazardous job of climbing several trees and performing this hard work. They wear a short loin-cloth for easy climbing and a belt with which a wooden flat box which carries a sharp flat knife, some mud in a tiny pot, a plastic jug and big femur bone of antelopes dangling on the belt -reminding a NYPD (New York Police Department) officer with belt that contain baton, gun, phone and other paraphernalia. Contractors who lease coconut trees from their owners on yearly basis; entrust the job of tapping on toddy tappers. For easy climbing coconut husks are attached with coir on the tree in every two feet interval lengths; changing a tree in to a ladder.

The making

The tapper climbs at the top of the tree and select a half matured bud, cut its top shapes its ridge with the mud and place a mud pitcher so that the oozing liquid is collected in the pitcher without losing even a drop. He mildly taps the selected bud from bottom to top so that the sap flows smooth to the pitcher. His next visit is to collect the liquid in to a jar attached to the belt, descent and take the product to the contractor (two visits a day early morning and evening). That collected in the evening would be ready to use by the morning (as it becomes adequately fermented within that time). It is the fermentation that adds ‘kick’ to the brew.

‘ Kallu-kudian’ (guzzler of toddy) of the yesteryears

There were people who guzzled more than six bottles (650 ml each) of toddy in one session. Toddy guzzlers were a separate tribe; they were macho, bold acid tongued and went on abusing ordinary people of the street without any reason. Some of the bold ones even took off their cloth and tie on heads as a mark of courage. At times some may get lynched by the angry public (just part of the game). The guzzler was neither ashamed not deterred by these trivial events and when public left he reaches home and empty his anger on his hapless wife. In this process his children go to bed without food. Next day he leaves home for work as if nothing had happened! One of the main reasons for poverty on this part of the land was the affinity of workmen to this combination of kallu and kappa accompanied by hot meen curry (fish-curry).

Just Cophetua complex!

The author remembers a poem written by Alfred Lord Tennesson; based on a Greek folklore “King and the beggar-maid”. When a beggar maid; bare-footed and wearing torn clothes walked through the street adjacent to the palace of King Cophetua. King noticed her extreme beauty. As if struck by some magic; he forgot his queen left his throne and rushed to the street to meet and greet her on her way. In the poet’s words “It was no wonder said the lords; She was more beautiful than day!”.

When an emperor of Cophetua’s stature in robe and crown ran forgetting his family to meet a bare-footed beggar-maid; what about a worker got lured by the big black and white board written in Malayalam declaring the stuff that is packed inside? He was already very tired after the punishing work and seeking some solace in a magical potion of toddy, tapioca and fish-curry; it is simply such a wonderful combination worth all his earnings of the day; no one can resist like the beggar maid to Cophetua. What if wife gets beaten and his children starve; let us blame it on Cophetua complex and not the poor worker!

A vanishing tribe

Toddy tappers coloquely known as 'chethukaran' of Kerala as were one of the earliest unionized groups and politicians went on appeasing them by frequent wage hikes. The process of making and trading also were made a national procedure! All these made toddy an extremely unaffordable commodity and guzzlers were forced by the circumstances to seek alternatives. This void got filled by spurious materials that resembled toddy and gave a stronger ‘kick’. Drunkards flocked to the synthetic stuff making toddy tapping altogether obsolete. If the liquid could be made with in a shed with some quantity cheap mashed ash-gourd (which can be collected from vegetable store - they sell rotten ones at huge discount - added with some yeast, sugar and a little spirit! By next day the potion is ready to be filtered and bottled. Why fret of climbing tall trees twice a day? Toddy tappers have become an endangered species and those guzzlers have already become extinct by drinking this synthetic potion; those who are still alive spent their time in deathbed remembering those nostalgic days of walking stark naked and abusing passersby!

Like the course of true love!

Remember toddy is a nationalized liquid and direct-selling by tree owners is strictly prohibited. Those who are particular to have a taste of real toddy should approach a tapper in secret and express his wish to just have a lick on the real thing; if the tapper is kind and greedy enough he may take you beneath a toddy tapping tree and hand over the original stuff un-adulterated and fresh. There is a hitch; it is highly illegal and if caught it may land the patron and tapper himself may be in jeopardy. Among tappers spying each other is the order of the day and those who are caught trading original stuff may be branded as traitors and banned from tapper-ship. It all may be done after adequately handling the hapless patrons! Okay a good thing doesn’t come always cheap like the course of true love and toddy is a good thing too!

Tail-piece

Once (when good quality toddy was available in plenty) there lived a village poor woman with three children and drunkard husband. One day her brother – a die-hard teetotaler- paid a visit to her house; the woman poured her cup of woes to him and implored him to advice her husband to stop drinking; reluctantly the brother approached his in-law to administer some good advices and found him enjoying the toddy filled cup. After some time the woman peeped through the Key-hole and found her brother weeping profusely. On enquiry he sobbed “what wretched man was me; who wasted 45 long years without tasting such a good thing; however I will correct my ways from here on and be a partner to your good husband; who showed me what real pleasure is!